4/24/2023 0 Comments Self criticism vs struggle session![]() Telling ourselves we should be better is a catalyst for feelings of guilt and shame. It will mean we settle, and what a shitty life that would be.īut there’s a huge difference between “I should be better” and “I could be better.” ![]() Our mind insists that if we stop being critical of our behavior (and ourselves), we’ll become apathetic and miss the opportunity to live up to our full potential. They are downright convinced this mantra is the way to hold themselves accountable for pushing their limits and accomplishing more. “But I should be doing better!” they argue. Sometimes, my clients openly admit how self-critical they are, especially when their behaviors are not aligned with their long-term goals. It suggests that I need to be a different way in order to be OK, validated, or worthy. Implicit in all of these thoughts is the idea that it’s me who is lazy, wasteful, or unorganized. Let’s take another look at the three examples I started with: It’s the act of passing judgment on who we are, not just what we do. Our inner dialogue becomes self-criticism when we are no longer making an observation and move into blame and judgment. True self-discipline means ruthlessly filtering any negative self-talk that doesn’t support our well-being so we can enjoy the journey as much as the destination. We practice self-criticism in the name of self-discipline, but those are two very different things. We know it’s not good for us, but nobody really cares because they rely on it to be productive. The belief that we need to be hard on ourselves in order to reach our full potential is like caffeine. It’s easy to write these thoughts off as “just facts” and convince myself they are helpful reminders that push me to be better. ![]() My own brand of self-criticism can be sneaky.
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